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One Realization That Haunts Me And I Share It All The Time

At the SAFE Bar Network we are driven by our core values; trust, respect, accountability, connection, support. We know that when we engage bar and restaurant staff in conversations about sexual violence, active bystander skills, and supporting each other the venues become better places to work and have a good time. We believe that culture change is possible, we’ve seen it work.


Preventing sexual harassment and assault requires accountability. When we have conversations about the times we’ve seen someone who is uncomfortable or unsafe we are asking people to take responsibility for the things that have happened in the past so that we can prevent them in the future.

At the SAFE Bar Network we model accountability every day by communicating openly, being honest about the obstacles that keep us from helping, and about the times we’ve helped and things didn’t go as planned.

In SAFE Bar training I often share a realization that haunts me. I remember when I was in college and going out with my friends. If I was sober, or grouchy, or stressed out and I had a friend that wasn’t acting like themselves, they’d probably drank more than they could handle, I’d be happy to see them walk away with someone. Go to another part of the bar or outside to the patio. Looking back, these may have been unsafe situations and I didn’t take any action to keep my friends safe.

Being vulnerable with a group and holding yourself accountable is a valuable way that, we build connections and shift the culture. To learn more about joining the SAFE Bar Network contact us at safebarnetwork@gmail.com

If you have a favorite bar, restaurant or night club encourage them to join the SAFE Bar Network. They can learn more at www.safebarnetwork.org

To learn more about active bystander skills check out our blog post, Obstacles. What obstacles? 3 Full Proof Everyday Active Bystander Skills.

There are everyday active bystanders practicing these skills every day. Watch their stories here, Everyday Active Bystanders.

Interested in learning more about bystander intervention? Visit our friends at With Us Center for Bystander Intervention.

If you or someone you know has experienced sexual harassment or sexual assault our partners can help. Visit MOCSA.org and RAINN.org

To learn more about the field of sexual violence response and prevention visit PreventConnect.org and NSVRC.org

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